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STORIES OF GRANDMA
Topic of the month for February
My Grandmother
I
being a late bloomer in my parent’s lives, was not really aware of my
grand folks. My Mother’s Mother had passed a few years prior to me
being born, and my Father’s folks were passed so there were no
grandparents to spoil or gloat over me as I was growing up. When I was
young I would see older folks (gray hair and much older than my
parents) and I would assume that they were my grand parents. It was not
until I was about 8 or 9 that I got to experience the joys of having a
grandparent.
She
was an older lady, which we had met through mutual friends. We would go
to her house and visit and vise-versa and we became good friends. After
about a year or two I asked her if she would be my grandmother or at
least an adopted grandmother.
She
lived on a farm along the Yellowstone River. A two story house sat
above the river surrounded by old rusty farm equipment. Train cattle
cars were used as sheds, old trucks, tractors, and many other items
that could harm you if you looked at them wrong. There were animals
also. She had sheep, cows, geese, chickens, a few cats, and even the
good ol’ farm dog that gave you the licking of a lifetime when you came
to visit.
When
I was there it became a kingdom of mine. I ruled the acres upon acres
of the land and I would lose myself. Sometimes I would get to spend the
night at "Grandma’s" house. Taking in the life of the farm, I would
help do chores like milking the cows, help open fences when we were on
the tractor to feed the other cows, call in the sheep, and feed the bum
lambs when spring was there. I would help separate the milk, put it
into containers and get eggs from the chickens. Then after the day was
done I got to take a bath in the tub that time forgot. I think now that
it came across the ocean with the Mayflower.
One
of my fondest memories were her molasses cookies. When I would go to
her house there seemed to always be a coffee can with my name on it and
inside that can there were the best darn cookies in the world packed
tight. I would ask to have one and I was given the nod and told only
one would be all I could have. Well me being me, I would find the few
that were stuck together and that would be one cookie. Yeah I loved
those cookies.
As
time went by and I was beginning to grow up and having somewhat of a
life of my own the visits became less and less. Three to four times a
year was as often as I could see her and even now when I think back,
she never changed in those years. She always looked the same. She
looked like she was 90 years old but was only in her 60’s. A hard life
she went through.
My
parents divorced and I decided to live with my father which was about
90 miles down the road and that is when I lost touch with my
"Grandmother". If and when I would visit my Mother I would look over
from the highway and wonder if I should stop but I wouldn’t do it. It
happened many times.
A
couple of years ago my Mother informed me that she was in the hospital
and was wondering if I could go visit her. As luck would have it we
were going that direction and I told my mother we would stop at the
hospital and see her. We arrived and went to where her room was and I
peeked in and I nearly lost myself. This lady that I called Grandmother
was so thin and frail that I had to ask her what her name was. She told
me and I nearly cried. It was her and a terrible disease had taken over
called Alzheimer’s. She did not remember me nor any of the things that
we had done when I was younger. She was very kind while we were there,
but I was just a stranger in the room with her and I was lost for
words. I really didn’t know what to say for the time I was there.It was
mainly small talk. We said our good byes and left. I had tears in my
eyes as we walked to the car. All the memories that I had of her were
going through my mind and I was frustrated on why she could not
remember any bit of them.
It
was not to long after that she passed away. She left me with the
memories of her that will last me forever. I was ashamed that I never
stopped; I was ashamed that she never got to meet my boys when they
were younger and even Morgan, my daughter. I will tell them about her
every time we drive by the old farm house and it brings back the
emotions that I had when I was a kid.
She was a Grandmother with an adopted grandson and I had the opportunity to have a grandmother in my life.
Leland F. Sharpe
How to Live a Little Longer and a Little Happier
I
always loved to visit my paternal grandmother. She's gone now but boy
did she leave a big impression on people. I can still hear her voice
sometimes - cracking jokes.
Sense of Humor
My grandmother had a great sense of humor, regardless of the fact she survived two World Wars and The Great Depression.
And how appropriate at her funeral to have the funeral program print
the words to the last song while the piano player plunked away at the
notes to a different tune. It took us a while to figure it out but when
we did we just laughed and said "Yup, grandma's here. Who else would
change the music at their own funeral? Good for grandma gettin' us with
one last laugh."
Her name was Nelly and here are a couple Nelly isms.
Grandma, how do you feel today? "With my fingers just like yesterday."
So grandma, how's life? "Oh, life's free but I brought some money just in case."
Selective Memory
My
grandmother married my grandfather who bore a striking resemblance to
Clark Gable. My grandfather was not a monogamous man. He didn't have
much of a sense of humor, smoked a lot, cussed a lot, and didn't care
if his grandchildren were around or not. He passed long before our
grandmother but that really wasn't much of a surprise to anyone.
When
my grandmother turned 90 I asked her how she lived so long and if there
was a secret to it. She told me "Memories". "Forget the bad and
remember the good". That got me to thinking about the trivial things in
my life compared to the many times my grandfather had broken her heart
over the years. I didn't understand it, but she had an endless supply
of forgiveness and compassion for him. They were married for more than
50 years.
Diet
My
grandmother never met a chocolate she didn't like. In her later years
when she was in an assisted living home she would stockpile chocolates
in her top dresser drawer beside her bed. Whenever I'd come up from the
states to visit I'd visit her first, because unlike the rest of my
family she was pretty calm and not much rattled her cage. During those
visits she would tell me to "have a chocolate, you know where they
are". So I'd go to her dresser, open the drawer and pull out the box
that was on top. Then she'd say "Well, don't be greedy, pass 'em
around". The first time she said this I just froze and tried to figure
out what she was talking about. She and I were the only ones in the
room. So she reached over, grabbed the chocolates, and said "Thank
You!" in the sweetest high pitched voice you could imagine. I couldn't
help but laugh out loud at the situation and lucky for me she did too.
Compassion
After
I had gone through my divorce I was pretty low in the cash flow
department. In order to expedite the divorce I agreed to everything and
had even co-signed on a new car for my ex-wife.
When
my grandmother found out what I had done she sent me a card with a
cashier's check for one thousand dollars. I was used to getting cards
from her but when I opened this one up, I could hardly believe what I
saw. And to top it off on the card she just wrote: "Get yourself some
fresh chocolates". This money made the difference between me being
homeless or not.
Later
when my aunt and cousins found out about this, they were not very happy
with me. But, it was really none of their business. To this day I think
about my grandmother whenever I get a box of chocolates and I think
"who can I share these with".
Darryl Etcher
CARING FOR GRANDMA
It’s
a hard transition to make when a person that has always taken care of
you, is now in need of care. About five years ago, I was given the
opportunity to take care of my then 90 year old grandmother who was
battling cancer. My aunt and I shared staying at her home to care for
her, which would work out to about three days in/three days out. My
mother would help on the weekends when she could.
My
grandmother was the type of woman who always had a positive attitude.
Even when she was on chemo and lost her hair, it was "all a part of the
experience" to her. She was growing thinner and weakening physically,
but spiritually she was very well.
In
the past, Grandma always made food for people when they came over…my
favorite was her date oatmeal cookies at Christmas. She also crocheted
beautiful things, especially baby clothes and afghans. She sold many of
her items for years. For a while, she was making beautiful doll clothes
for dolls that stayed on stands. She used satiny materials, lace, tiny
little beads, and ribbons. The dolls were beautifully dressed. She also
made from scratch a Farmhouse doll house dressing it up from the inside
out. She also visited with her sister across the state of Michigan
usually once every two months or so. When ironing, she would crank up
the country music and two-step behind the ironing board. I tell you all
this to give you an idea of how active she was until the cancer hit.
Now
we were helping her up, walking right behind her in case she would
fall, cooked her food, helped her to eat, talked with her, helped her
bathe and dress, cleaned her house, took her to emergency many times
when she grew too weak, and more. It may have seemed overwhelming at
times, but I am so glad that I had that opportunity to do these things
for her. She appreciated it so much. She always had a smile, and always
found something to laugh about…even at the worst times. I know that a
part of her lives inside of me. I am a stronger person because of my
life experience with my grandmother.
It
been a few years now since she went on to Heaven, but the legacy still
lives on. I now work part time as a senior caregiver. The experience
with my grandmother in caring for her was so rich, that I understand
the need of the seniors that need help. The experiences with them have
also been rich. We share laughter, stories, and prayer at times. To
give is to bless and to be blessed.
Kathy Bruins
Kathy Bruins lives in Southwest Michigan, and is an Elder, Prayer Leader, and Drama Director.
Her book, The Acts of Grace, is a collection of dramas she has written. Her articles have been published in magazines such as Outreach Magazine, Three One Six: A Journal of Christian Thinking, Seek Magazine, and others. She also has written screenplays for Rock Rite Entertainment.
Kathy
also has been a keynote speaker at conferences, trainings, and other
gatherings. Her topics include prayer, spiritual refreshment,
leadership training, and many more topics.
Kathy received Writer of the Year Award for 2005 from American Christian Writers Conference.
For more information, please visit her website or contact Kathy at kbruins@ameritech.net.
In the distance, gray swirling
smoke peered just above the rooftop.
Bring yourself closer it teased.
Dare to discover the goings on within.
I chose the trance and moved along
with apprehensive steps up to the cabin door.
A gentle nudge opened a symphony of delight
and there stood Grandmother amidst it all.
The scent of baked breads and rolls filled the air
Along with freshly baked cherry pies.
A tall glass of milk shadowed what
seemed to be chocolate chip wonders.
Heaven this must be I thought, and every day I see
My Grandmother creating such aromatic splendor.
"Grandmother", I said, "If this is heaven made
Then you must be my Angel Keep".
She smiled at me and kissed me
And she said with a wink,
"You are the angel I think"
Robert Meacham
Robert
Meacham lives in Texas working in senior management in the retail
business. Currently, Robert is working on several projects including
suspense novel, children's book series, and another book of poetry.
Please feel free to visit Robert's web site and peruse the
publications, one being a newly released Anthology, " The World Outside
The Window"
www.freewebs.com/robertaustin
ON THE WINGS OF AN ANGEL
Dedicated to My Grandmother
On the wings of an angel Love comes
Thru the whisperings
That quiet my fears
And restore my soul On the wings of an angel
Healing comes
Thru the hand on my forehead
That pushes the pain back
And allows me peace On the wings of an angel
Cherished memories
Step forward
To be relished once more
And bring a smile to my lips On the wings of an angel
Love comes
Evermore |
Angela is a Professional Assistant (www.upon-request.com)
and contributor at eHow, Associated Content & Bukisa. She is
currently working on her first book of poetry, tentatively titled
Bittersweet Journey.