I grew up with two parents that taught me how to survive. A father that’s a former Marine taught me how to change a tire, survive in the wilderness, and stand up for what I believe in. A mother that had her own health challenges as a Diabetic and coming from a household of two alcoholic parents taught me grace, trust, and how to make lemonade when life gave you lemons. They both taught me a lot about life in very different ways. I was fortunate.
Life does happen. There are times that the unforeseeable falls into our lap and there seems to be no way out. Money, time, energy, physical abilities, and employment or lack thereof are some of the factors. We can’t control everything. Some people feel like they just can’t catch a break. The spectrum runs from those little bumps in the road to bad things happening over and over again. When will life get easier?
I used to think that life just happened to me. I was unhappy and couldn’t understand why “people” couldn’t act how I thought they should or why I just couldn’t have a good life.
Creating a Life
Somewhere along the line I grew up and decided to take action. I stopped being negative and chose not to participate in negative conversations. It took some time to get out of that habit. Then I looked at some of my choices and decided to make choices that would create peace in my life instead of chaos. I went from working in a busy hospital in the ER to working in a Physical Rehab facility. My family moved across country so I made the choice to leave a lot of things behind including relationships and material possessions. Challenges still come my way but I choose to stay positive and look for the best way to deal with it. It wasn’t that my life had changed that much at all. I just looked for opportunities to to direct it.
Do you let life just happen or do you create it? Do you think that it’s possible to change your life?
Here’s how I created a new life:
The Four Agreeements
The Four Agreements have really helped me live better. It made me realize that I have to take some responsibility. If I’m not impeccable with my word, if I take things personally, or I don’t do my best, it creates suffering for me and possibly my family. If I want a good life I have to do my part.
Step Out of Chaos
Because of the nature of my former job I had to be involved in everything. Every conversation, every problem, every meeting was getting me deeper into stress and chaos. The intention was trying to help. The impression was a busybody. The outcome was negative chaos and stress. I had to step out of that persona and job. At first I stopped being on committees, then I stopped listening to other conversations. I helped less. Some people took it personally, that I wasn’t being a team player. Some were relieved.
Relationships take time and energy. I’m a believer in transitions. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for as long as our spirit benefits from the connection. When you find yourself spinning your wheels, when it becomes more difficult that uplifting is the time to disconnect. People take that personally too. It’s unfortunate.
I respect the fact that we all have different views and ideas on life. I’ve shared some of mine here.
Please share yours in the comments.
What has worked for you?
What is your biggest challenge?